Carbonara for the Lazy

So at school I have been shoving information into my brain in the same way you lie on top of a suitcase and desperately try to zip the damn thing shut after filling it with your entire wardrobe. But in my case (lol pun) the excess clothing/shoes/liquids above 100ml come in the form of cookery jargon. Take a liason. Rather than an extra marital affair, it instead refers to a sauce thickened with egg yolks and cream. Kind of like a carbonara…

Now let me just stop you there. If you are Italian, half Italian, 100% Italian baby or know in which order the red, green and white go on the Italian flag, you’re going to want to stop here. Just turn around, go elsewhere.

Basically, this is a spit in the face at all things Carbonara. I’m sorry. Looking for authentic, Italian food? Ask an Italian. Looking for lovely carbs with lovely cream that takes genuinely less than 45 minutes from start to everything washed up??? I got you.

And I’m serious about the 45 minute thing. I think recipes that estimate how much time it takes to cook (looking at you 30 Minute Meals) should include washing up. It’s all well and good if you’ve got a personal human dishwasher to clear up the wreckage you leave in your wake hi mum but if you don’t this is a key part of choosing what to cook. Oh yeah I can totally make court bouillon poached monkfish with chervil hollandaise and wilted spinach but do you know how many pans that takes? Too many.

So yeah this is easy to make, clean up after, eat, post a photo of the recipe with #rosiessaladdays. You could even serve it for valentines dinner – if you’re in a relationship with someone who likes to lie on the sofa, eat chocolate and watch Police Interceptors with you. It’s not first date material. I mean it’s spaghetti. 


That’s the thing about spaghetti. Can’t eat it on the first date. Too messy. Same goes with noodles. Disaster.

Mrs Jones, my speech and drama teacher circa 2006-2012.

You heard the lady. Now go and make this. Also I made a playlist when making this. You should listen along too to make up for the fact that I ate this too quickly to take a photo.

Fake Carbonara
Serves 2
Carbonara for the lazy. It's speedy, but tasty enough to impress.
Write a review
Prep Time
5 min
Cook Time
15 min
Total Time
45 min
Prep Time
5 min
Cook Time
15 min
Total Time
45 min
  1. Around half a pack of spaghetti.
  2. 3 rashers nice bacon
  3. 100g mushrooms (mix of chestnut + button)
  4. Pinch of flour
  5. 200ml crème fraîche.
  6. Knob of butter
  7. 1 tsp fresh lemon juice
  8. Salt and black pepper
  1. Pinch of dried mint
  2. Fresh basil
  3. Torn mozzerella
  1. Get a large saucepan with a lid. Fill it two thirds the way up with water + a large pinch of salt. Put on to boil with the lid on.
  2. Slice the mushrooms, cut the bacon into strips (use scissors it's easier).
  3. Put a frying pan on the heat, melt some butter and then add the bacon. Cook it slowly on a low heat to render the fat a little and then turn up to go golden brown. Add the mushrooms and stir.
  4. When the water is doing a rolling boil, add the spaghetti.
  5. The mushrooms and bacon will now be golden, so add a pinch of flour and some salt. Stir in the flour and cook off for 1 minute. Add a splash of pasta water and allow to thicken.
  6. When the pasta is cooked, use tongs or a slotted spoon to add the spaghetti to the frying pan. Stir together, then add the crème frâiche. Toss together. Add a little lemon juice and black pepper to taste.
  7. Serve! Lie on the sofa, watch Netflix (dm me if u want my login).
  1. You can use a reduced fat crème frâiche, but the lower fat content can risk it curdling if it gets too warm. Be careful when adding it to the frying pan with the pasta.
Rosie's Salad Days


See? Fun! Easy! Sorry Italy.
 Rosie xxx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *